Hey Mahmoud, nice to meet you.

Okay, now that the formalities are out of the way, I'm going to be frank, so listen up, you little f*&#ing midget: I'm sick of your stupid motherf*&#ing bulls*&$ bluster.

I think you're a capon, and if you aren't already, I'm prepared to make you one.

I think you're an a*&hole for saying that you want to "wipe Israel from the map." F%$# you, you ugly little f*&$ing waste of sperm.

And don't give me that bullsh&$ about your nuke program being all about 'peaceful ends.' Jesus F$#@ing Christ, do you expect me to buy that f*%$ing bill of goods?

What do I look like to you -- a tenured professor in some godforsaken sociology department at a Western University?

Jesus Christ, you're an a#%hole if you think so.

By the way, I'm also aware that you referred to the September 11 attacks on the US as a "suspect event," and that you also went on to say all that happened was "a building collapsed."

There wasn't anything suspect about it, a*&hole.

Idiotic Islamic radicals like yourself attacked and murdered more than 3,000 innocent people that day. Of course, considering your record on human rights, your treatment of women, your treatment of minorities like gays, Baha'is, etc., I would expect no less than to hear you say 'it was just a building collapse.'

F%&$ you, a%&hole. You want some goddamned f*%#ing respect, a$%hole? Stop supporting terrorism, and maybe you'll get some.

Until then, f$%# you, you ugly f*&%ing homunculus.

Oh yeah, one other thing, tell Ayatollah Ali Khamenei everything I said here pertains to him too. Except the part about him being an ugly homunculus.

He's just a tired, ugly, old man.

Okay, now I can go back home and tell the nitwits who think it's a good idea that I talk to you that I did it.

By the way, these f*&$ing pistachios are stale. Was that the best you could do?

Jesus, you're an a$#hole.