In a move experts said was expected for months, New York Times executive editor Bill Keller today announced the formation of a shadow government for the US, effective immediately.

"The power that we have taken is not something to be taken lightly," said Keller. "The responsibility of it weighs most heavily on us and is among the most agonizing decisions I've faced as an editor."

Times' publisher "Pinch" Sulzberger was named shadow President, but was said to be disappointed that he wasn't named shadow Prime Minister.

"Most importantly, I just want to say I'm sorry," said Sulzburger.

Keller, who named himself the shadow Director of National Intelligence, said he felt the New York Times would continue to usurp the powers of official officeholders in the Bush Administration -- in accordance with his view of the US Constitution.

"We listened patiently and attentively to the people in the Bush Administration -- I mean as patiently as one can to these fools," said Keller. "But it's time we took the reins of power."

"Forgive me, I know this is pretty elementary stuff — but it's the kind of elementary context that sometimes gets lost on morons who don't work for the New York Times, especially the knuckledraggers and mouth breathers who vote for Republicans," said Keller. "And while we hesitate to preempt the role of legislators and courts, and ultimately the electorate, we just feel ... well, that we're smarter."

"What he said," said new shadow Secretary of Defense Paul Krugman.

Keller continued, "I can appreciate that other conscientious people could have gone through the process I've outlined above and come to a different conclusion. But nobody should think that we made this decision casually, with any animus toward the current Administration, or without fully weighing the issues. Now eat your vegetables."

"This is just, like, so totally awesome and cool," said shadow Vice President Maureen Dowd.